Movie Review: I hate Love Storys


Film: I Hate Love Storys

Director: Punit Malhotra

Lead Cast: Imran Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Samir Dattani, Samir Soni, Bruna Abdullah, Ketki Dave, Anju Mahendru

Rating: 4/10, A cliched love story making fun of other love story cliches. That’s height of dumbness!

Karan Johar and Punit Malhotra perhaps don’t realize that a love story parodying other love stories and showing how cliched they are is, in itself, a big cliche. So is a love story between a guy who hates loves stories and reiterates every few minutes that there is no such thing called love and a girl who does just the opposite. But wait! The “clichegiri” and dumbness of this movie doesn’t end here. If fact, this is just the beginning. Allow me to give you the full list.

The guy, even though he “hates” love stories works for a director who specializes in love stories. Why doesn’t he quit? Because he is worried about his “resume,” the underlying assumption being he is an untouchable in the film industry and no one else will give give a job. The girl is a love story freak and designs sets of romantic movies as a profession. She  has posters of all Hollywood and Bollywood movies pasted on the walls of her bedroom which is all pink (pink bedsheets, pink walls) and she sleeps on her bed along with a bunch of chocolates, balloons, love cards and a copy of Erich Segal’s Love Story. Why? What a dumb question! Because she believes in love!

Wait, there’s more! The best friend of our hero is fat (of course he had to be fat, all side kicks are fat) and whose favorite past time is to ogle at girls in pubs and flirt with them. And if he can’t get them to bed, he takes “revenge” by throwing eggs (eggs??!! What original thinking!) at them. He has a rating system for “chicks” and has also developed a “special graph” to measure “profit” or “loss” in dealing with a girl. And we are supposed to laugh at these inane jokes.

We have the “lovoholic” movie director whose current project is apparently a collection of the best scenes from the Shahrukh Khan classics and who confidently claims that his romantic movies may not make any sense, but people love them. Is that Karan Johar defending himself? And his star cast includes an actor who is more interested in his bum than his acting and an actress who pouts cliched romantic dialogs with prodigious ease. And we are supposed to laugh at these jokes too.

It’s not over yet! There’s more. The girl’s perfect life includes a “perfect” fiancé, Raj (Samir Dattani) whose diabetic sweetness swept our heroine off her feet (or her mind). He is the “cliché epitomized” of the sweet loving boyfriend. He gives her a white rose everyday and is dumb enough to just assume that white is her favorite color. And our heroine is even dumber enough not to have told him in the first place that red is her favorite color not white. Dumb and dumber! And adding to this combined dumbness are the parents of the girl – gujarati mother and punjabi father. Think of all cliches you can think of regarding gujaratis and punjabis and you will “get” both of them. And yes, we are supposed to laugh at these jokes too!

Tying these unbelievably hackneyed characters is the story which is conspicuous only by it’s absence. I hate Love Stories doesn’t really have a story. It’s just a collection of smartly shot scenes that are meant to be witty and funny. Jay (Imran Khan) meets Simran (Sonam Kapoor) in a movie theater, get into an argument and separate. Only to meet again the next day in Veer’s (the “lovoholic” director) office. It turns out Simran is the set director of the ongoing film and Jay is her assistant. Now think of all the tried and tested way of getting into fights and getting out of them and you would have seen half the movie. The real fun begins after that. Simran realizes that Jay is the real one for her and proposes. But Jay rejects her. But then Jay starts realizing that he is actually in love with Simran and finally proposes her (complete with red roses). But then Simran rejects him because her Raj has accepted her back. So what happens after that? In one word, madness.

Imran khan is only a shade of what he was in Jane Tu…This is the first time I have seen Sonam Kapoor and I am not very impressed. She need more experience. Average performance from other actors too. But what’s worse that the acting is probably the dialogs. The pathetic dialogs killed even the few genuine romantic moments that emerged in the film. The jokes were all trite and forgettable.

Perhaps the only thing that worked in the film was the candy-floss-archies-valentine cinematography. As with any Karan Johar produced romantic movie the “pinkness” of the sets was taken care of. But that’s little consolation for the other lapses.

Bottomline

All in all, this is a totally forgettable and lame attempt by Punit Malhotra and Karan Johar to poke fun at love stories. It’s clever, but completely lacks the honesty and sincerity, that are mandatory for a love story to click. It’s a soulless body. No I do not hate love stories. But I hate this one!

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13 Comments to “Movie Review: I hate Love Storys”

  1. I think this is one apt review………true to the core!!
    Now I know not to watch this movie and get tortured 🙂

  2. hard luck..i watch the movie and the read review or i would have nver watched it..Nice review dude

    • Abhishek tough luck! But there is a way out of it. Just subscribe to my blog posts through the email subscription widget on the top right and all my reviews will be delivered to your mail inbox right on time! The movie releases on friday and I upload my reviews latest by Saturday afternoon.

      And thanks for reading!

  3. A nice review .. BTW, I had already ruled myself out into watching this film before reading your review !

  4. The film might be terrible, but the review was great. I had to laugh.

  5. Fun review, Shiv, even though I saw the film and thought it wasn’t a bad timepass… Nothing very memorable about it, but I thought it had some fun moments. Perhaps I was just enjoying myself watching Imran, who is charming and easy on the eyes, even if I do believe he could star as Joey in any remake of Friends that came down the pike. Look out, Matt LeBlanc…”HowYOUdoin”, Imran?

  6. This is the third time I came to your blog, I like your blog very much, hope your more

    good posts.

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